Someone asked online: “What is it like to be inherently confident?”
A highly upvoted answer is: “It’s not because of appearance, nor because of possessing a certain ability, but rather believing in one’s own worth without relying on anything external.”
Confidence is a positive psychological hint that can help you clear obstacles and move forward towards your goals with determination.
I’ve compiled 10 genuine and effective tips. Take action, and you will surely be able to boost your confidence and become more attractive.
- Look into the eyes when speaking
Did you know that confidence can be acted out?
A netizen shared a job interview experience: “I was so nervous that my back was sweating, but I forced a smile and made eye contact with the interviewer to get the opportunity.
When I received the job offer, they even said with a smile that they saw sincerity in my eyes.”
In psychology, it is said that 80% of a person’s mental activities can be identified through their eyes.
Some people with introverted personalities tend to blush and be at a loss when making eye contact, often looking down or having a wandering gaze.
Unknowingly, this display of insecurity limits them in life.
At work, it’s hard to gain the trust of partners and miss many opportunities;
In socializing, it’s easy to expose character flaws and be manipulated by others.
As they say, the eyes are the windows to the soul, and bold eye contact is also a signal to the other person:
I’m good, I can do it.
- Record daily achievements
You often hear people complaining: “I’m doing the same trivial things every day, it’s so boring.”
Indeed.
Life is routine, plain, and dull, but every day has its significance.
If you calm down, you might find that you walked 1000 more steps today than yesterday, getting closer to your exercise goal;
Maybe the PPT that seemed impossible to complete yesterday is already halfway done;
Perhaps you suddenly realize that the old book you’ve been hoarding has finally been opened to the first page…
Little by little, the sand piles up into a tower.
Recording the small changes that happen every day, breaking through yourself in ordinary days, and giving yourself timely and effective encouragement.
Over time, you will find that you have taken a big step forward.
- Learn a new skill
When you really don’t know what to do, take advice:
Go learn a new skill, it will bring you unexpected changes.
When Gu Ailing first started skiing, she was very insecure.
As the only girl on the team, she didn’t know how to communicate with the male teammates and had no friends when she first arrived.
But when she learned new skiing techniques, the boys all came to ask her: “Wow, how did you learn that?”
“How did you do that move just now?”
Skiing allowed Gu Ailing to quickly integrate into the group and become more confident with each impressive achievement.
In fact, we are all the same. In a completely unfamiliar field, it’s inevitable to be cautious.
As we understand things more comprehensively and continuously increase our added value, we will have more say.
Becoming more confident and composed.
- Choose a nice outfit
There’s a saying online: shopping can make people happy when they’re in a bad mood.
For example, a beautiful dress can make you temporarily forget negative emotions.
Maye Musk, the author of the best-selling book “A Woman Makes a Plan,” shared an experience.
As a model, she was ridiculed for blindly imitating others and wearing clothes that didn’t suit her, leading to a lack of confidence on stage.
Later, Maye realized:
Clothes serve people, as long as they look good and suit you, they are the best.
Beautiful clothes not only made her happy but also highlighted her strong aura.
So, if you want to boost your confidence, start with a nice outfit.
Reject the shame of being精致, and love yourself well.
- Smile often
I’ve seen this conversation.
Someone asked a successful person: “What’s your secret to staying confident?”
The successful person smiled and said: “Before I go out every day, I give myself a smile in the mirror.
Keeping this habit makes me confident all the time.”
Research also confirms that smiling not only releases pleasure hormones in the body but also makes a person more determined internally.
When you encounter problems, try giving yourself a smile.
A smile may seem insignificant, but it can make family members feel warm, colleagues feel respected, and strangers have a good day.
Most importantly, it can cheer you up.
The best state in life is a smile on the face and confidence in the heart.
- Do what you’re good at
Goethe once said: “Everyone has innate talents, and when these talents are fully utilized, they naturally bring extreme happiness.”
Most of us are ordinary people.
We don’t have the ability to remember everything at a glance and can’t do everything excellently, but so what?
Not everyone is born knowing everything.
Just like you can’t force a chef to race cars, nor can you force a calligrapher to write code.
The simplest way to boost confidence is to do what you’re good at.
Everyone has their strengths, and only by amplifying and maximizing these strengths can we create greater value.
- Walk with your head up and chest out
The pioneer of behavioral psychology, Watson, proposed:
By observing a person’s objective behavioral activities, one can judge their psychological activities and processes.
For example, by a person’s walking posture, one can infer their personality traits.
Generally, people who walk with their heads up and chests out are full of love for life and are more optimistic and confident;
While those who slouch are more likely to feel inferior due to factors such as family background and appearance.
A while ago, a girl posted a comparison video of herself in her freshman year and her first year of graduate school.
Netizens exclaimed: “The change is so big, you can tell just from the walking posture!”
A person who looks confident = he is confident, a person who looks inferior = he is inferior.
If ordinary people want to enhance their aura and become “not to be messed with,” start by taking confident steps.
- Positive self-suggestion, believe in yourself
In psychology, there is an expectation effect, which means:
In interpersonal interactions, one party’s abundant emotions and high expectations can cause subtle and profound changes in the other party.
In short, when someone says you are excellent, you will have a psychological suggestion, thus becoming more excellent.
In the movie “Forrest Gump,” the reason why Forrest Gump, a boy with congenital intellectual disabilities, received God’s favor all the way, is inseparable from his mother’s suggestions.
His mother never thought that Forrest Gump was inferior to others, but told him more than once: “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.”
With this encouragement, Forrest Gump also planted the seeds of hope.
In the end, he harvested a fulfilling life.
Romain Rolland said a word: “Believe in yourself first, and then others will believe in you.”
Believe in yourself, even if you may not succeed in the end, but you can definitely become a strong person in life.
- Learn to save money
George Orwell once said: “Money is the shackle of freedom, only by learning to be restrained can you truly possess freedom.”
Spending money doesn’t require skill, but saving money is an art.
Learning to save money brings you not only the ability to withstand risks but also the ability to control your life.
On the one hand, it can reduce material desires, spend money on more worthwhile places, and improve the quality of life.
On the other hand, having money in your pocket won’t make you helpless in the face of illness and sudden changes.
The greatest dignity of an adult is to have money in your pocket and shine on your face.
When you learn to control the budget and spend money moderately, you can also save strength for the future more confidently.
- Boldly ask for help
Teacher Wu Zhihong pointed out in “The Country of Big Babies”: “Many people are afraid of troubling others, but without troubling each other, relationships cannot be established.”
I couldn’t agree more.
People who lack confidence are particularly afraid of hearing external evaluations, so they habitually close themselves off.
But in fact, no one can truly live as an isolated island, existing alone without any connections and support.
The way to change this state is to walk into the crowd.
Only when we “have to” do something independently and are pushed forward, can we slowly regain confidence in the friendly gaze and the experience of life.
Woodrow Wilson, the 28th President of the United States, once said: “Have confidence, then go all out—if you have this concept, nine times out of ten, you can succeed in anything.”
Truly confident people don’t necessarily have extraordinary courage and enviable backgrounds, but they focus on the present and have firm beliefs.
Such people, no matter what they do, can turn the insignificant into the great and the ordinary into the magical.